My 50 Things

I saw this on Dianna's blog and really liked it, so I'm going to do my own. If any of these surprised you, I would encourage you to comment. Actually, I'd encourage you to comment regardless.

1. I'm a Theology & Philosophy major with music minor at USF.

2. I have no idea why I'm getting a music minor. Seriously no clue.

3. I often make inflammatory comments regarding my talent as a musician, physical appearance, and intelligence to test what people really think about me.

4. I want to stop, but it has kind of become a reflex.

5. I really enjoy a glass of wine and a cigar from time to time.

6. I know in my heart that I've been called to the ministry, but I doubt my call and the notion that God has a purpose for me about 25% of the time.

7. He always provides me with reasons I'm wrong. (Watch out for a blog about these two notions)

8. I took a course in Philosophy last semester and the world really makes a lot more sense.

9. I don't think I can lie about my job when someone asks me on a plane, but worry about getting to know the "real" someone because people have a tendency to play the role of piety around clergy.

10. I want to do, and probably will this summer, exegesis on 1 Corinthians 7:8, although my pastor/mentor told me not to make relationship decisions based on this verse.

11. I sometimes worry if I'll ever find/keep a girlfriend/wife.

12. I probably worry about it because I'm at USF where the terms "Mrs. Degree" and "Ring by spring" are used all the time; Also because I'm consistently around people in serious relationships and engaged couples.

13. Although it is late October, I'm listening to Josh Groban's Noël album.

14. When I study the Bible, I really enjoy manuscripting and have acquired a Bible from my church for this reason.

15. I started manuscripting a different Bible, but I messed up a few chapters of Job and my
Type-A personality and mild OCD forced me to start over. (That wasn't the only reason, though. I was using the TNIV translation and missed NRSV.)

16. I've recently learned that it's okay to be an introvert.
17. Although I know I'm an introvert and it's okay, I often struggle with feeling guilty about taking the alone time that I so desperately need for my own sanity.

18. I have no clue how to say "no." I can say that I'm not going to do something one day, and turn in my application to do it the next. Disgusting.

19. I actually said "no" to someone the other day. It was a proud moment for me. Not a proud enough moment to change the opening of #18.

20. I work with an after-school program. I love my job. I got paid to play football the other day. How could my job rock even more?

21. My boss likes to make silly rhymes using my name and something that she needs to tell me. I try to do it back to her, but her name doesn't rhyme with anything.

22. I'm a volunteer youth group leader at Southern Hills United Methodist Church.

23. I'm currently working with a girl named Jill; we co-lead a high school youth group that makes me smile every day.

24. Of my 680 Facebook friends, I communicate with about 45 on a regular basis.

25. I'm currently Facebook engaged to a girl to pull a prank on her aunt.

26. Watching people react to the engagement was really funny.

26. I seriously contemplate getting rid of Facebook.

27. I've been single since February of this year. Sometimes I get lonely, but other times I'm perfectly content.

28. Three of my ex-girlfriends are married; one is in a very serious relationship. One of them has a kid and supposedly another on the way. This makes me feel really old.

29. When someone says, "You're as old as you feel," often my response is "I'm 90."

30. My self-esteem is very flaky. Some days it's there, other days it's gone.

31. I have no clue where my self-esteem has gone. It used to be there.

32. I have two aunts that teach English—one at a high school level, the other used to teach at a college in Kentucky. As a result, I am mindful of my grammar and correct errors while speaking.

33. I really enjoy when people get on their high horse about their grammar and then make mistakes without correcting them.

34. I’m adopted.

35. I was born in Sioux Falls to a young lady and her boyfriend, who was not my father.

36. I now work of Lutheran Social Services, the agency that I was adopted through.

37. If I ever get married, I plan on adopting.

38. I would someday like to meet my birth mother to thank her for making tough decisions so that I might live.

39. I feel like a boring person because finding 50 things about myself is quite daunting.

40. I'm currently living in a dorm but am seeking off-campus options.

41. Because I'm at the church I serve at six out of seven days per week, I'm looking at something equidistant from USF to the church.

42. Silence makes me feel really uncomfortable; thus, I often say that I "don't believe in silence."

43. Halloween is this week. I have absolutely no plans to celebrate this mother of all non-holidays.

44. I was thinking about borrowing one of my pastor's robes (because it makes him look like Friar Tuck) but I can't decide if that would be considered sacrilegious...

45. One word that I consistently misspell: defininately (which should be spelled "definitely")

46. I'm a bit of a txt-aholic.

47. As a result, I have unlimited txt across all networks.

48. I write my blog posts in Microsoft Word and paste them over so I can check spelling and grammar.

49. I often go to bed mad at myself because the day was not productive enough.

50. This was a really hard exericse but a pretty neat thing.

My Father's Child

I went home last weekend to hunt pheasants with my family after the Madrigal Retreat. (I got home on Saturday night for Pheasant Pheast at my Uncle Mark's cabin). It was a really great time to just relax and reconnect with family that I hadn't seen since July and non-family-family (those people that are close like family but not blood related; I'm sure I know what you mean.) that I had hadn't seen in a few years. I had to catch some of them up on my transfer from Northern State to University of Sioux Falls, from music major to theology major. (It's been an interesting last few years of life.) It was really relaxing and everything, but I noticed some stuff about myself that scares me.

I've come to the realization that I am my father's child, which has positves and negatives.) As I mentioned before, I arrived home on Saturday evening (too late to hunt but in time to have supper with my family and enjoy good wine and good company). But Sunday morning, after working for a little bit, I ended up hunting with my uncles and cousins. My dad, however, chose to combine corn because it was dry enough and it was forecast to--and did--rain that week. The first realization I came to was I've inherited my dad's inability to relax. I was talking with my cousins during Pheasant Pheast and really having a good time, but in the back of my mind was the homework and Midterm exams. I found out the next day that my dad was uneasy and tense all day Saturday because he was thinking about the work he had left to do. I still have that issue. Right now, I'm sitting here with minimal homework left to do for Wednesday (as it is Fall Break), a plan for research and a goal in mind for tomorrow's research time at the seminary and USF Library (and Augie...if I have to.)... And I'm still twitching... there's manuscripting of my own I can do, Disciple Bible Study workbook to do.. but I'm just blogging and watching Shawshank Redemption (great movie. Watch it if you haven't.)

I know it's really important to take a break (especially for my sanity as a radical introvert.), but I feel guilty not doing something productive. I am my father's child.

One of the positives I've noticed is a lack of procrastination, on the whole. Yes, I do have my moments, because I'm human and am trying to fight becoming my father, but by in large, I have my work done. For example, I'm on Fall Break. Yesterday morning, my internal clock went off at seven, and I woke up. I knew that I would be working at our church's Pumpkin Patch for a good four hours and I would have a lot of time to do something else. So, I took all my syllabi and a sheet of paper and wrote down everything that I needed to do to be prepared for classes on Wednesday. Then I went to the church, got my self situated at a table near the door, and went to work. Bam, homework done. I feel great about it and know that that was the influence of my father. I am my father's child.

So it's both a blessing and a curse to be turning into him. Still scares me. A lot.

My Insane Lifestyle

So, here's the deal. I'm busy. Holy crap am I busy. I know, I know--there are some out there far busier than me, but this is my blog, so that's what I'm going to talk about. (Rather than just doing what I have to do--yes, I see the irony. Thanks.)
So, classes started on September 3rd, after a decent summer, and wonderful weekend at the LifeLight music festival. I somehow arranged my schedule so that I go to class on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 8-3:15 without a break. This a blessing and a curse. The blessing is that I don't have class on Tuesday & Thursday until Concert Chorale at 2--which I leave fifteen minutes early from. The curse is that I assume that I have time to "relax" on Monday nights and Tuesday & Thursday mornings. This has also meant that I felt like I could "tack on" extra things into my scheduling--like mentoring and having a social life. But the issue is--as USF students past & present will sympathize with-- I'm taking Greek. Greek requires about two hours of class prep time which includes reading the Grammar and doing the workbook, and memorizing vocab & paradigms. As the syllabus for this course says, "to know Greek, you must incorporate Greek into your life (togas optional.)"
I'm also taking two classes--Old Testament Wisdom Literature & Foundations of Professional Ministries--that between them are asking for in-class readings in addition to 20 hours of "Collateral Reading." However, these readings are validating, educational, and I'm really glad I'm doing them. The issue is making time to get it all done and still maintain some time with friends. I feel like a horrible person when I get "I miss you" texts and phone calls...
And I am again in Concert Chorale & Singing Camerata, which is another battle within itself- suffice it to say that I'm considering a semester without choirs because--and I'm ashamed to say this, but--I'm not a nice person in choir. I fall into the music major mentality where we're all vying for solos, performance groups, and excellence. Anyway, that's a different story for a different post. It's pretty busy in choir, especially with this being Homecoming week. We did Chapel on Tuesday, an Alumni Banquet last night, and I will be going to rehearsal in an hour with an Alumni Choir, singing the National Anthem at the Football Game, going to another rehearsal with the Alumni Choir, and then performing at the Variety Show. Also, with this being Homecoming, the Wind Ensemble and Concert Chorale will be performing (yes, performing. Not leading worship, but being on display.) at First Baptist for USF Sunday. In which, I'm sure, I'll have to painstakingly sit through another Dr. Benedetto speech about how awesome our football team is (which is true, but really annoying). This isn't so bad until you factor in that I'm responsible for playing and moving the percussion between the two worship sites at First B, singing in the choir, playing djembe on a processional in the choir, and not destroying every fifth person that tells me to "relax" or "hurry up." (In the midst of all of this, I have to find time to do all my homework and start another history paper... oh and do laundry.)
I can't tell you the number of "So, when are you going to sleep?" talks I've had with friends over the last month, but I'm now committed until December. So I guess the only thing to do is just rely on God to bring me through this. Pray for me. I'll need it.
Hope this post finds you all doing well. I'm praying for you all.

Current Mood: Hopeful
Current Song: "Jesus, You Are" performed by the Christ Tabernacle
Photo Credit: Thomas Christiansen, my former roommate and photographer extraordinare.