My Father's Child

I went home last weekend to hunt pheasants with my family after the Madrigal Retreat. (I got home on Saturday night for Pheasant Pheast at my Uncle Mark's cabin). It was a really great time to just relax and reconnect with family that I hadn't seen since July and non-family-family (those people that are close like family but not blood related; I'm sure I know what you mean.) that I had hadn't seen in a few years. I had to catch some of them up on my transfer from Northern State to University of Sioux Falls, from music major to theology major. (It's been an interesting last few years of life.) It was really relaxing and everything, but I noticed some stuff about myself that scares me.

I've come to the realization that I am my father's child, which has positves and negatives.) As I mentioned before, I arrived home on Saturday evening (too late to hunt but in time to have supper with my family and enjoy good wine and good company). But Sunday morning, after working for a little bit, I ended up hunting with my uncles and cousins. My dad, however, chose to combine corn because it was dry enough and it was forecast to--and did--rain that week. The first realization I came to was I've inherited my dad's inability to relax. I was talking with my cousins during Pheasant Pheast and really having a good time, but in the back of my mind was the homework and Midterm exams. I found out the next day that my dad was uneasy and tense all day Saturday because he was thinking about the work he had left to do. I still have that issue. Right now, I'm sitting here with minimal homework left to do for Wednesday (as it is Fall Break), a plan for research and a goal in mind for tomorrow's research time at the seminary and USF Library (and Augie...if I have to.)... And I'm still twitching... there's manuscripting of my own I can do, Disciple Bible Study workbook to do.. but I'm just blogging and watching Shawshank Redemption (great movie. Watch it if you haven't.)

I know it's really important to take a break (especially for my sanity as a radical introvert.), but I feel guilty not doing something productive. I am my father's child.

One of the positives I've noticed is a lack of procrastination, on the whole. Yes, I do have my moments, because I'm human and am trying to fight becoming my father, but by in large, I have my work done. For example, I'm on Fall Break. Yesterday morning, my internal clock went off at seven, and I woke up. I knew that I would be working at our church's Pumpkin Patch for a good four hours and I would have a lot of time to do something else. So, I took all my syllabi and a sheet of paper and wrote down everything that I needed to do to be prepared for classes on Wednesday. Then I went to the church, got my self situated at a table near the door, and went to work. Bam, homework done. I feel great about it and know that that was the influence of my father. I am my father's child.

So it's both a blessing and a curse to be turning into him. Still scares me. A lot.